6 March 2012

The Child Within

I should be in bed having been up since 5 am this morning but my brain is so wired I thought that maybe getting a few thoughts down on screen might help me try and put my mind into some sort of order. Having said that there are many who have known me for more years than they will ever care to admit to, that would say that if my mind was ever ordered then the world would have ended. I'll just ramble like I normally do then.

Just under 6 years ago I blogged about the fact that nothing prepares you for the sight of your own Mother on life support in ICT. She had gone into hospital for a routine hernia operation and someone fouled up whilst intubating her causing a massive and uncontrolled haemorrhage in her throat. 5 years after that event I still wasn't prepared to see her in ICT once again, especially as later that evening she died. Take these events and my own numerous hospital adventures and I was still unprepared for what hit me this evening.

My dear man went down to surgery at 1.50 this afternoon. By 4.30 we had to leave to travel over to West Bromwich for visiting and I was told by the Sister over the phone that they expected him back within the half hour. You can therefore imagine my utter devastation when 2 hours later I approached his bay and found it totally empty. Seems that no matter how many times life throws an unpleasant medical type surprise at me I'm left reeling and it wasn't just because of the close proximity to the Hawthorns either, although I had ten minutes earlier felt a bar coded shadow fall over me.

There had been complications hence the length of time in the theatre. Now there's a funny thing to call it, a theatre. I suppose it was because when surgery was in its infancy there were viewing galleries but that was a long time ago. I associate theatre with a good night out not a place where your life or that of someone you love is firmly in the hands of someone you don't know but inherently trust to do a damn good job. About 20 minutes later he was brought back and after he was settled we were allowed to see him. My poor daughter; I said to her I wish that she hadn't come with me because to bear witness to someone in so much pain is rather too much for a 12 year old to handle but bless her heart, she replied that although it had been traumatic she had needed and wanted to see this beloved man who means so much to us.

A little over a week ago Aiden blogged about how difficult it had been to witness my pain when I had a wisdom tooth extracted. I must admit that an hour having your jaw clamped open and constant pressure applied for extraction is rather painful. Now I know exactly how he felt because it was heart and gut wrenching this evening to see him suffer so very badly and to be impotent.

I consider myself extremely fortunate to have found a relationship with an utterly wonderful man when I am so long in the tooth....or even long in the toothless if these pesky abscesses keep plaguing me but it doesn't matter how old you are or how much life experience you have, when presented with something you can do nothing about, the child within resurfaces.

There is much about recent events that I wish to return to not least my opinion that West Midlands Police need to review on a very serious level their policy on attending accidents when a cyclist is involved. It stands to reason that if a car and a cycle have a collision, the cyclist is not going to be the winner. I am happy that West Midlands Police are now investigating the accident that was not attended and thank Brownhills Bob for what he has called interference and I call a blessing because without him ACC Marcus Beale would not have got involved and I thank him too. So I will be returning to that subject.

It gives me great pleasure also to report that the Staff on Lyndon 3 at Sandwell General Hospital are a a breath of fresh air; caring, compassionate and efficient. What a difference that makes.

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